An overwhelming desire to sing

Ever since I went out a few weeks ago and sang karaoke I haven't been able to get my mind off of it. I've always loved to sing, and since I drive so much I have ample time to perform, for myself that is. But lately, it's just not enough. More and more I get the insatiable urge to go sing, to perform in front of others and I'm worried that if I don't quench these urges then I will regret them for the rest of my life. And that's a big deal. 

To remedy this I've been out two more times, both times singing, just one song due to wait times. The first time I was pretty drunk and even though I sang well (Beyonce's "Listen") and was complimented, I needed to know that I could sing sober too. And that's what I did last night. 

I went to a local gay bar and put in my name for the queue. I had to wait about 20 minutes but finally my name was called. I was excited but oh so nervous and it made my body sort of freeze. My voice, however, was on point and I sang my heart out. Sure, it was worse than when I'm alone, sitting in my car but that's to be expected. Sure, my legs almost gave out from being so nervous and I looked like a weirdo, as I just stood there, gently rocking back and forth, fidgeting with whatever I could get my hands on. But the point is that I did it. I sang Carrie Underwood's "Last Name" completely sober in front of a crowd, at a gay bar. I was applauded, complimented and cheered; and it felt so good. Am I celebrity material? No. Will I get famous? Probably not. Did I have fun doing something I love? Fuck yeah. And that's what matters to me. 

Stay tuned because as soon as I figure out how to play music from my phone and use the record feature on my camera, I will be posting videos on my blog of me singing in the car. I've overcome my fear and I really want to hear what people have to say; even the assholes. 

Much love to all my followers and regular readers. Please share my blog and comment below! 

That's it. I'm done.

With sweets that is. Oh and cheese too. Now I know those aren't the only two reasons for my weight gain, but darn it, they're not helping. Before leaving for SEA I weighed an unhealthy 240 lbs and when I got back I was a slightly healthier 217 lbs, quite a drop. But since I've been back I've gain back more than half of what I lost and I've had it, I'm done gaining, it's time to lose. 

My plan is to give up sweets entirely, no moderation about it, I'm going cold turkey. I know I can do it, and my friends from SEA (at least those in B house) know I can do it too, even in the face of extreme temptation, such as a never-ending bowl of Halloween candy...so it's time, once again to give up the stuff. I just can't eat a few pieces of candy or just a little bit of homemade peanut butter cookie dough, it's all or nothing with me and I know myself too well to try the moderation game. 

So you might be wondering, umm, you mentioned cheese too...yeah, I eat a lot of cheese. I'm a vegetarian, so what, you wanna fight about? No? Me either. Basically I eat too much cheese and I need to cut down, and drastically. I don't think this will be too hard as my husband is vegan and so once I'm out of cheese I just won't buy it again. We'll see just how "easy" it actually is though...my biggest cheese addiction is nachos. They are probably my favorite food and I usually eat them in the most unhealthy way: lots of chips, lots of cheese and a bit of salsa on top. Sometimes I get fancy but not too often. This meal is easy and delicious and is the biggest reason why I eat so much of it, but that's the problem, I tend to over-eat when I have nachos, one of the biggest diet faux pas. 

All in all what I'm trying to say is that I'm going to need your help. This isn't going to be easy, especially in the beginning and especially at work where I'm surrounded by candy. All. Day. Long. I'm going to begin to rely on this blog as a food diary of sorts, or at least that's the plan. I hope to get words or stories of encouragement, tips, tricks, friendly advice, etc. I'm counting on you all and let me tell you, I need all the help I can get. So please, share my blog post on Facebook, Twitter, the general interwebs. I would appreciate it so much! Love you guys!